Sunday, December 18, 2005

Well, the funeral's over...

Doesn't the moon seem brighter in Saipan? The sky and the ocean are definately bluer. I'm sure going to miss it here.

It has been a little difficult to get to a computer over the last couple of days, so my updates and blogging have been far from stellar. Now that the funeral and the rosaries are over I should have more time (and freedom) to go to the various Internet cafes on Saipan and do some updating. I should also have more time to just write in general, as I should be spending more time lounging on warm tropical beaches. I probably won't be able to post as many pictures as I would like though, because it is difficult getting a fast connection.

Alex is going back to Florida in the morning. He's pretty torn up and confused about leaving. He doesn't want to leave, but he knows that he has to. It is difficult to describe the type of emotions that the two of us go through when we have to leave Saipan. Saipan is HOME, but so is Orlando and Massachusetts. We only get to see this home every few years; the last time I was here was over 5 1/2 years ago.

So we go through the same emotions everytime we leave. Our family here shows us so much love. They love us just because we are family and of the same blood. It doesn't matter if we haven't seen a cousin in 10 years. When we are here, it is like we have spent every weekend of our lives here.

When we leave Saipan, we have to say goodbye to that. We also have to say goodbye to the island itself. We have to say goodbye to the place where Dad taught us how to throw a talaya, where he taught us how to shoot a rifle, and where he taught us how to make chicken kelaguen.

It is always really hard, but it is especially hard this time around because we do not know when our next visit will be. When we were kids, we always knew that we would be coming back the next summer or the one after that. Now that my father is no longer with us, we don't have that certainty. Maybe it was because he brought us to Saipan; Now if we visit, we have to initiate it on our own.

At least I have two more weeks to enjoy Saipan....but, and there is always a but, Emily and I have been throwing around the idea of moving to Saipan for a while. It is dependant on several different factors, like if I inherit some of my father's land and if we can gain employment here before her JET contract expires.

I don't know.

I really want to learn Japanese AND I really want to spend more time with my island and my family, but like I said, I just don't know. I do know, however, that I won't be heading back to Orlando any time soon (unless of course it is to work on a certain campaign later this summer, wink, wink).

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Alex is coming home! I miss him. Mom