Wednesday, February 01, 2006

JET Program Survival Guides

First off, I totally stole this from another JET blog. No Big Deal.

Second, here they are: JET PROGRAM SURVIVAL KITS!

The Female JET Survival Kit.


A copy of Facing Loneliness.



Pringles.



Razor Blades.



Bathtub with warm water.


Note: Actual "survival" may vary.

The UK JET's Survival Guide


Magazines to convince yourself you DON'T dress like a fuckin' drunken banker.


Any book that will make you sound like you're actually speaking English, as opposed to making an audible attempt at chewing up the language and spitting it out.



An unrelenting tendency to constantly brag about your drinking ability. Note: When doing this, please combine this with the above book.



Whatever sad stab at international relevancy you have left inside of you.

MALE JET SURVIVAL KIT


Condoms


Unparalled ability to stop seeing any degree of attractiveness in white women.


Inability to accomplish anything OR use the English language properly.


Also: Drinking problem.

(Note: Yeah, we made a Mike Brown joke.)


The ability to act like a 13 year old WELL into your 20's...and maybe 30's

AMERICAN JET GUIDE! WITH ALL CAPITALS! USA! USA!


Cocksure self-importance in terms of geography.

OR...


Constant whining and a deep sense of shame.

(Note: no rational viewpoints will be taken into account here. One or the other. If you don't agree, you are a terrorist.)


Disturbing lack of history.


Inability to shut your damn yap.

Canadian JET Survival Guide.

Same as America. Just more polite.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's funny because it's true!

Hope this will be expanded upon. Look forward to more insightful commentary.

Anonymous said...

And at least you're honest about plagiarism...

Nic - klarbooks.com