Stupid frickin' Guam gets to go on the Colbert Report?!
Mummy, I want to go on the Colbert Report! I want to go on the Colbert Report, NOW!
OK, quick question. Colbert mentions that there are four protectorates. I thought there were five? Guam, Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, American Samoa, and us, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands?
Are we the stepchild of the US protectorates or what?
And just because I can:
And another one: