Friday, May 25, 2007

The Saipan Sucks guy has a blog!

Alright, so he doesn't really have a blog, he just contributed something to a blog. Still! You can imagine my excitement when I found something written by William Betz, with William Betz' name actually attached to it!

Everyone knows that I take issue with the website that shall not be named (except in this post title). Written anonymously, unless of course you do a search for the webmaster, this website is written with an anti-CNMI, pro-terrorist agenda.

Everyone also knows that I'm a racist and a propagandist. The CNMI is a heavenly paradise and those bitter haoles who say otherwise should be put to death, stoned with katupak. Plus, I've lived here for over 14 months.

Article LXIX of the constitution says that anyone with more than 25% indigenous blood who grew up in the Mainland ceases to be haole as soon as they move back to the CNMI and wear zorries 300 days in a row.

Alright, enough with my attempt at humor and sarcasm. Betz, buddy, give us a fucking break. The minimum wage bill is set to be signed by the President this weekend and I'm sure immigration reform isn't too far away. Whether the local people like it or not, this place is going to be cleaned up.

If it hadn't already been printed in the newspapers a dozen times, I'd be the first one to say that I'm really disappointed that our local leaders couldn't do it for us first. The Legislature is too busy changing street names and handing out resolutions to actually work on solving any problems while the Executive Branch doesn't feel it necessary to enforce any existing laws.

For example, the Litter Control Officers don't want to hand out litter citations because they feel bad for the litter bugs! Never mind that thousands of people have spent countless hours cleaning up after those slobs. I'm sure the other enforcement offices have the same "I feel bad for the criminal" mentality.

So yeah, we have problems. A lot of problems. But we've had enough of the bullshit. I'm not talking about your bullshit, either. I'm talking about the homegrown bullshit. Hell, I've only been here for 14 months and I'm sick of the bullshit. It is time for a change, which is why I am forming the CNMI Jedi Party.

So can you give us a god damn break? Could you write an article about Beautify CNMI, the public forums, or our exploding blogosphere once in a while?

In conclusion:

Mr Betz: Tear. down. that. website.

< / rant >

1 comment:

Jeff said...

hilarious and well said.