Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Saipan: We're Not Gonna Take It

Dave wrote a very touching blog today, Saipan: What I like about you. In the spirit of George Costanza and Just Do the Opposite, I offer the things that annoy me about Saipan. Here's my list of bad things:
  1. Grocery stores tying the handles of your plastic bag together. This happens every time you buy anything at a grocery store. If the handles are all tied together, then how the hell are you supposed to carry your bag?
  2. The amount of wrapping used when you buy food at the street market. My favorite thing to order at the street market is yaki-tori, which is grilled chicken on a stick. I usually order three or four. After I order, they take the sticks, heat them up, wrap them in foil, put them inside a plastic bag, then add napkins to the bag. Come on, it's meat on a stick! Take my money and give me my stick. Never mind all that other stuff. It just ends up in the garbage two minutes later.
  3. Animal pancakes. Our streets are littered with dessicated, flattened cane toads, rats, cats, dogs, and other small assorted farm animals. Gross.
  4. African Queen and I'm Yours only get played on the radio a few times per week. I miss the days when these two songs were played no less than 37 times per day.
  5. Global Warming. Global Warming sucks and it needed to be included on this list.
  6. Media coverage of our local beauty pageants. We have a beauty pageant every other weekend on this island, yet instead of hot girls in bikinis the stories that hit the newsstands are from the pageants with dudes in bikinis. What's up with that?
Alright, so I'm just trying to have a laugh. This place has its problems, but they are outweighed by all the great things about living here. A list of reasons to live in Saipan needs only one item:

Chicken Kelaguin


Marianas Eye said...

Your environmentalist soul is truly tortured -- plastic bags, non-biodegradable wrappings, dead animals, global warming. You need a vacation.

Rick Jones said...

My favorite is when they give you 4 separate bags when I have a total of about 10 items. Separate bags for produce, meat, and household items, when they could all easily go in one larger bag.

An environmentalists nightmare.

Tamara said...

Animal Pancakes??? EWWW!

Saipan Writer said...

Love your list. I hate when they tie my plastic bag handles together. I have to cut them to get them untied, and then I can't reuse the bags.

But I would have put road-kill at number 1.

And reasons for staying (besides chicken kelaguen)--a friendly, small community, sunshine, beaches, and NO COLD WEATHER. :-)

Big said...

No cold weather! Clearly I need to move to Saipan!

--=JiGiToL=-- said...

Hahaha I agree with Chicken Kelaguin being a prime reason to live in Saipan... Walmart's lemon chicken just doesn't cut it anymore haha =)