There, you’ve been warned.
The 2000 United States Census reported 135,233 Chamorros living in the United States (58,240), Guam (61,922), and the Northern Mariana Islands (15,071). That’s not a lot of Chamorros. I remember my father telling me as a young boy that Chamorros were an endangered species. Why, there are more living Chimpanzees than there are living Chamorros.
Hmmm. Maybe that’s a bad comparison.
Alright, there are more Sperm Whales swimming in the ocean than there are Chamorros walking on dry land.
Hmmm. Again, probably not a great comparison.
Alright, alright. African elephant. There are more African elephants on God’s green Earth than there are human beings who call themselves Chamorro. The point I’m trying to make is that there aren’t a lot of Chamorros out there. People are more likely to see one of those endangered animals in person than meet an actual living, breathing Chamorro.
Did I mention I’m half Irish? Everyone knows about the Irish. They’re lucky. They like the color green. And beer. And Whiskey. And green beer. There’s also St. Patrick’s Day, a religious holiday that we celebrate by wearing green and drinking beer. And don’t forget about Bono.
In terms of sheer numbers, the Irish are on the opposite end of the population scale. The 2008 American Community Survey reported that 11.9% of Americans claim at least some Irish ancestry. That’s 36,278,332 people.
That means that I represent the largest ethnic group and one of the smallest ethnic groups in America. God, was I born to be POTUS or what?
And now I’m rambling. This blog was supposed to have a point…
Famous Chamorro people!
Chances are you’ve never even heard of a Chamorro, never mind a famous Chamorro person. I am going to change that. Right here, right now on this very blog you are reading I am going to create the definitive list of famous Chamorro people. I will start with 8 famous Chamorros, but this list is by no means complete. If there is a famous Chamorro person out there, living or dead, that deserves inclusion on this list, please make a suggestion and I will add them depending on how convincing you are or how much you pay me (I am willing to accept beef jerky as payment).
So here we go, the most famous of the famous Chamorros:
Angelo Villagomez – Environmentalist, Blogger, and Male Model
That’s me! Come on, did you really think I wouldn’t include myself on this list? This is my blog, after all. I’m an environmentalist and blogger from the island of Saipan. I ran for Mayor once…and lost. I haven't really done much else except for clean some beaches and help protect some fish and the only reason I’m even on this list is because Brad Ruszala, Saipan’s only celebrity, isn’t Chamorro.
Jimmy Dee – Entertainer
Anyone who introduces themselves as [Insert Name], International Superstar deserves to be on this list. Do I have any of this guy’s albums? No. Have I ever seen him perform in person? No. Do I dig his Vegas leisure suit on Youtube? Hell, yeah!
Mata’pang and Hurao – Warrior Chiefs
Mata’pang (right) and Hurao (left) were two Chamorro chiefs from the 1600s who led an insurgency against the disease infested invading Spanish missionaries (the history books prefer to say that they murdered a priest). They vanquished the first Christian missionaries on Guam, Spanish priest Diego Luis de San Vitores and Pedro Calungsod, martyrs whom have since been beatified by the Catholic Church.
Hurao is famous for giving a speech in 1671 denouncing the Spanish occupation and for centuries has served as a symbol of freedom and anti-colonialization.
Alexia Lei – Model
I have no idea who Alexia Lei is but her bio says she’s Chamorro. I say she’s a credit to the race and she makes the list.
Frank "The Crank" Camacho – MMA Figher
Frank Camacho is an MMA figher born on Guam, raised on Saipan, and now training on the East Coast. My friend Diana Felix had the hots for him, but don’t tell anybody.
John Hattig – Athlete
John Hattig was the first Chamorro to play Major League Baseball. In fact, I think he’s the only Chamorro to ever play Major League Baseball. He might be the only Chamorro to ever appear on a baseball card (or 10), too, which I think is even cooler.
Jessica Bangkok – Porn Star
I get a lot of hits to my blog from people looking for Chamorro porn. Now, there is no Chamorro porn, or any other kind of porn for that matter, on the Saipan Blog, but there is a Chamorro Porn Star named Jessica Bangkok. I’m guessing she lives somewhere in California. I’m not sure if she has a blog.
This reminds me of a song.
And that’s the list of famous Chamorros. Are there any glaring omissions?