On Nicknames

One day my father was drunk or otherwise temporarily insane and came up with nicknames for his five boys. They were, from oldest to youngest, Taiger, Taipan, Taiphoon, Taicho, and Memong (I think Memong was born after the glorious renaming).

Thank God my father didn't get to name us.

You may have noticed that the names of the four older boys all begin with "Tai." I don't know why; they just do. In Chamorro, when someone's last name starts with "Tai," it means "no" or "without." For example, the last name Taitano means "no land." My father, "the champion of indigenous rights," would have been very well aware of that.

Therefore it follows that Alex is "No Pan" or maybe "No Bread," Abraham is "No Phoon" or perhaps "Landline Only," and Solomon is "No Cho" or in Japanese "not profitable."

What was he trying to say?

Oh yeah, I can't think of anything funny for Taiger. I'm accepting nominations.

While I've always hated mine, my younger brothers like there nicknames. Alex uses Taipan as his blogger moniker and I've been told that Abraham and Solomon use Taiphoon and Taicho. Memong has and always will be Memong. I don't think he's ever used Ramon.

Why did I get stuck with Taiger? Come on, your dentist calls you Taiger! No ten year old likes being called Taiger.

I would have preferred Rhino or Optimus Prime.

Oh well.

Then just for kicks, here are some of my other nicknames throughout the years:

Metroid or Nintendo: I was a huge dork in grade school and the other kids noticed. Maybe it was my subscription to Nintendo Power magazine or my Ninja Turtle collection?

OSB: This acronym stands for Old Sketchy Bastard. I was five years older than my girlfriend at the time and her friends thought I was old and sketchy.

Ange: Alex and my mother call me this. I hate it. I like my full name.

Rico: When I worked at Wolfgang Puck Cafe, a few of the servers started calling each other by Italian mafia names. Glauco was Vinnie, I was Rico, and I forget everyone else's name...or was it just Glauco and me who were using mafia names?

Dog Boy: An ex-girlfriend and her best friend called me this while we were dating. No comment.

Asshole: Not really a nickname, but I get called one often enough to merit its inclusion.